There’s just too much to see

Posted on | October 20, 2008 | Eric Peterson | No Comments

“It’s my job to be cleaning up this mess and that’s enough reason to go for me; it’s my job to be better than the rest and that makes the day for me.”

My buddy Jonathan wants me to write a blog. When there’s something to say that I haven’t said somewhere else (and when it won’t get me in too much hot water with the boss or the Flying Spaghetti Monster), I will probably oblige him, if only because he will otherwise come up with lots of things for me to do, some of which resemble work.

I’m not really much of a fan of blogs. For one thing, I’ve been a writer most of my life, and I’ve found that too many people who think they have something to say and the right to say it don’t really have anything new to add to the conversation, and should also take advantage of that truism that says that the right to say something is also the right to keep your mouth shut.

One of the exceptions is Big Ed, who has always been one of the most witty (and occasionally, most acerbic) writers I’ve ever known. I’d like to say that he learned it from me as a child, but the odds are much better that he learned from JP. Read his stuff, and give him a little bit of a break because he lives and dies with the Oakland As.

I don’t know that I have all that much to add to the conversation; all evidence to the contrary notwithstanding, I have a hard time convincing myself that anything I write is all that profound. In fact there are probably a ton of people who, when they read what I write, are just as happy they don’t have to listen to me, and they will no doubt be quite glad to know there is a page they can bookmark so they never have to look at it again.

“I can’t be the one to fill your times and all your places; I can’t be the one to fill your blanks and empty spaces…”

Writing a blog is such a glorious illusion; I can envision hundreds — millions — of people pecking away in the self-delusional belief that tens of millions of others are looking there every day just to see what magic is wrought from the fingertips and keyboard of the Next Great [Insert Nationality Here] Author. I can also see the Giants in the World Series this year, but that’s another story.

I harbor no such illusions. I wrote (and still write) because there was (is) a story to tell, some information to impart, or an observation to make about whatever happens to be the subject on the table. It’s not that I’m shy about my opinions; it’s that I think most people don’t care; those who do care already know what I think; and anyone who thinks they might care can always ask. But to me, writing is largely solely for the benefit of the writer; for everyone else, it’s at best tedium and at worst what another buddy Kevin calls pollution. I have no desire to contribute to that.

I also know that most of what I’ve written that is of any value is saved only on a dead tree somewhere (or maybe on microfilm), and people were never beating the doors down to get copies of it before. I’m one of the lucky ones; I was able to write when people needed newspapers to do things like start up the barbecue and line the birdcage with. Blogs serve no such useful purpose. It’s not easy to ignore someone who wraps something in a rubber band and throws it on your doorstep; with blogs, the DELETE button becomes your friend. After all, what’s the point in committing something to words if no one is going to read them?

“Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.” – T. S. Eliot

Welcome to the Monkey House. We will try to keep you entertained.

Friday Musing

Posted on | June 20, 2008 | Ellie | No Comments

Dear Fellow American Patriot,

I am an American patriot and proud of it. I give my unqualified support to President Bush because I know he is a patriot as is Vice President Cheney and the members of the cabinet. And I support continuing the war in Iraq for however long it takes or how many American lives it will cost or how many Iraqis we have to kill in order to make them understand that they should form a democratic government to be under our supervision and agree to the need of 58 U. S. military bases in their country to keep the citizenry in line in a democratic fashion.

And, of course, our oil companies should control Iraq’s petroleum output. Look at all the sacrifices we have made to bring freedom to those Iraqis even after their lying to us about their having WMD’s. And, yes, I believe it may be necessary for us to wipe out the Muslim religion which those noble Crusaders failed to do. Christ would want us to do that. It says so someplace in the Bible.

And, yes, I have heard the vicious rumors coming from the Socialist left. I mean about the similarity between the Bush administration and the rise of Hitler. Look, Hitler created the Storm Troopers and then the SS in order to control the army and the populace. The SS was very effective because it did not have to follow military protocol. It was responsible only to Hitler. Now, can you believe this! Some dirty leftists are claiming that Blackwater is similar to the Nazi SS because it is an army responsible only to President Bush. It does not have to comply with U. S. military law because it is necessary to have a military force that is free of such restraints in order to follow the dictates of our President. How dumb and dense can those leftists be?

And Hitler tore up the German Constitution because it was necessary to do so what with Poland with its massive horse calvary about to attack poor near defenseless Germany. Hitler did not want to have to tear up the German Constitution, but he had to save the German people from themselves just as President Bush has had to patriotically bypass parts of our Constitution in order to save America from collapsing internally or being invaded and conquered by the Iraqis with the aid of the Iranians. How can people be so mentally limited as to not understand this?

True Hitler needed someone to blame for Germany’s problems and selected the Jews as his fall guy. And, regrettably, he found it necessary to kill a few. Six million to be exact. This was unfortunate, but probably necessary. Now we are seeing what appears to be the selection of the Muslims as the source to blame for our problems and probably rightly so. I mean, they’re not Christians, are they? Sometimes it’s necessary to do things a little wrong in order to make them right. And besides, the world is over populated, isn’t it? I cite as an example, four dollar a gallon gasoline.

I say that if we are going to preserve Democracy, we patriots are going to have to forget about a few of our so called rights in order to preserve them. Now, remember to put your hand over you lapel flag pin when those wonderful Blackwater troops march by. They are saving you from the Muslim hoards and perhaps your God damned unpatriotic Democrat neighbor who should be put in one of our camps.

Heil Bush!
jorcutt, san diego

Humane Society goes big time

Posted on | November 13, 2007 | Eric Peterson | No Comments

Comcast instructionsOur longtime friend, Amy Monsen of the Calaveras Humane Society, dropped us a note today telling us that the CHS will be included in Comcast’s Adopt A Pet listings on the cable television system.
If you happen to see a funny little red light on your cable box, it means there’s a “system message” for you that will tell you to go look at Channel 1 and wander around until you find the Pet Adoption listings — expect it to show up any time in the next couple of weeks.

Good Deeds

Posted on | December 6, 2006 | Ellie | No Comments

A good and trustworthy friend writes the following:

I heard of this several years ago and to realize they’ve stuck with the
policy is heartwarming and worth widespread publicity.
Let’s all shop at Sears :
I assume you have all seen the reports about how Sears is treating its
reservist employees who are called up? By law, they are required to hold
their jobs open and available, but nothing more. Usually, people take a
big pay cut and lose benefits as a result of being called up… Sears is
voluntarily paying the difference in salaries and maintaining all
benefits, including medical insurance and bonus programs, for all called
up reservist employees for up to two years. I submit that Sears is an
exemplary corporate citizen and should be recognized for its contribution.
Suggest we all shop at Sears, and be sure to find a manager to tell them
why we are there so the company gets the positive reinforcement it well
deserves. Pass it on.
I decided to check it out before I sent it forward.
I sent the following email to the Sears Customer Service Department:
I received this email and I would like to know if it is true. If it is,
the Internet may have just become one very good source of advertisement
for your store. I know I would go out of my way to buy products from Sears
instead of another store for a like item even if it was cheaper at the
other store.
Here is their answer to my email……. ……… …..
Dear Customer:
Thank you for contacting Sears The information is factual. We appreciate
your positive feedback. Sears regards service to our country as one of
greatest sacrifices our young men and women can make. We are happy to do
our part to lessen the burden they bear at this time.
Bill Thorn
Sears Customer Care
webcenter@sears. com
Please pass this on to all your friends, Sears needs to be recognized for
this outstanding contribution and we need to show them, as Americans, we
do appreciate what they are doing for our military!!!!
It’s Verified By Snope.Com

blivingston, millbrae

Woulda, coulda, shoulda

Posted on | November 8, 2006 | Eric Peterson | No Comments

County election results are in. Nobody ran for City Clerk in Angels Camp. The most infamous graduate of UCSC (never was there a Congressman more aptly named) is still in the House, and since he won in a walk, we have four more years of trying to get used to hearing the governor our state called Kawleefoneeya. We want to hear him try Mokelumne Hill someday.

A Faintly Bright Side

Posted on | November 6, 2006 | Ellie | No Comments

The good result from the constant telemarketing of tomorrow’s election is the exercise we old folks get in answering the phone. Unlike the younger generation with cell phones in every orifice, we have to rely on staggering to where the phone cord comes out of the wall. We have to stash our coffee, tea, or martini; brace our creaky knees; hoist ourselves out of the LaZBoy; and sprint (no endorsement intended) to answer the beast, just in case it’s someone we really want to hear. Then there’s the long shuffle back.
Think of it as a built-in Thighmaster. Your doctors will be so proud.
I see that three Garamendis are on ballots this year – Evan for Calaveras Unified trustee, Celeste for mayor of Tracy, and John for lieutenant governor. Hope I haven’t overlooked anyone.
elp mok. hill

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